Archive for May, 2011

It was just another morning on my way to work. I was at the strategic left turn into the industrial area that is home to my office and a long list of other international technology companies.

The traffic clogged intersection usually has most of the bikers getting onto the narrow adjacent mud road and beating the signal. All this happens while the folks in cars wait patiently at the signal, looking with a mixture of helplessness and envy at the gay abandon of the biker.

At peak traffic hour, this should be a fairly common sight at many other Bangalore intersections as well.

But this morning was different. A cop had parked his bulky Bullet Enfield squarely in the centre of the muddy side road. Now it was the biker’s turn to look on in helpless irritation.

But not for long. Soon one biker realized that there was just enough space between the road and the pavement for one bike to get through. He squeezed in. Soon a long line of bikers were following that adventurous lone explorer.

I couldn’t help shaking my head, with a bit of a wry smile. We are such a loophole loving nation. Give an Indian a watertight compartment, and we will find the loophole. Not in ones and twos, but in hoards 🙂

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The three Ts

Posted: May 30, 2011 in Life and Living
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Whether you are married, living in or single, there’s something that every woman should never forget. You are the captain of your own ship and the master of your own destiny. The responsibility for your ship lies with you. You hand the rudder into another’s own hands at your own peril.

The first thing that most women tend to forget is their responsibility to love themselves. So on all those days when you look at the world passing you by and everything seems so blue, it’s a sign. Be good yourself – get a body massage, spend some time in the garden, let the laughter of children envelope you, learn to play an instrument, go on a day long road trip, start on course that you’ve always wanted or plan a night out with your friends. Something within you wants to be loved. Nurture it. If you want to feel like a million dollars, you’ve got to put in all the hard work to make that happen.

Then of course, there are the three Ts – transport, technology and trade.

Most women seem to believe that they can’t control the first two. Yet it’s important for women to choose their mode of transport and then master it. Otherwise – like the women who sit at home all day, waiting for their husbands to drop them – get ready for this omission to set the boundaries of your life.

Then if you commute by horse, cycle, bike or car, manage your own vehicle. Know your service station and the way your car works. It’s the reason why I spent many weekends with my dear friend AM, as she tried to teach me how to get the desired responses from my car. Today, many years later, I feel extremely glad that we took the trouble.

So too with technology. Otherwise your inability to handle these two Ts sets your boundaries. I still find that the fear of a puncture or parking on a narrow road can sometimes be more restricting than the event itself. But each time I must push myself to master my fears.

On a similar note, I remember how I resisted getting an Internet connection for years, inspite of the huge benefits it had for me as a writer, simply because I wasn’t sure how to go about it. This is a battle that still continues.

So this isn’t a post that comes from someone who’s figured it all out. It’s from just another woman finding her way.

But the most important T is probably trade. Too many women give up control over both their career (read trade) and their finances. This in turn determines their choices. They remain strapped to unhappy situations (mostly marriages) only because their financial dependence restrains them. This is the worst kind of dependency.

After all, when we marry, we do not look for exemplary drivers, technologists or tradesman, we look for people with whom we could build a life together. Then why is that a couple of years down the line, the ties that bind us are the ones that connect us to good drivers, technologists and tradesman? Shouldn’t marriage always be about more than that?

So, I say whether you married, living in or single, you can’t forget them. They are the three Ts.